Young Children Value Kindness Over A Conflict


Young Children Value Kindness Over A Conflict

Many people are of the view that bowing down in a particular fight or aggressive discussion is more respectful than winning the same. It means you are being humble and moving out of the way of a person. It is true not just for humans but even for animals. Among human beings, even young children aged ten months recognize moving aside or bowing as a sign of respect.

If you have not had a good time with toddlers, you will not know much about them. Children aged between 10 months and two years face trouble in managing their behavior and feelings. It is the time when they start interacting with friends and experience conflicts. They start fighting on getting the best chair, the best book, the best toy, and what not. They compete for the attention of the caregivers.

Young Children Value Kindness Over A Conflict
Young Children Value Kindness Over A Conflict

Experiments On The Behavioral Patterns Of Young Children

Various operations carried out on what toddlers think about victims and bullies, and losers and winners show very few of them love the idea of winning at all costs. The toddlers experimented were shown a scene where a couple of puppets had varied goals. The puppets were moving in different directions, trying to win over the other. Eventually, there was this one puppet that bowed down and even moved aside. However, when the toddlers were asked about which puppet they liked, the majority of them said the one that did not bow down.

Answers for the first experiment were dependent on which puppet the toddlers liked. Now, it was about choosing the winner as the likable participant, even if he or she wins by hindering someone or pushing someone out of the way. Yet another experiment showed that human toddlers do not like winners who win conflicts by hook or by crook. Instead, they want individuals who move out of the way of someone.

Suggestions From Studies On The Psychology And Nature

These studies suggest that human hierarchies are not based on complete dominance or supporting the fiercest, strongest, and biggest with higher status. Humans tend to form hierarchies on the pillars of prestige and respect. It means humans work on the principle of gaining status not by being fierce or big but by offering benefits like resources, knowledge, and nurturing to others.

Every individual likes to be a winner, but data suggests that children learn to differentiate between the right winners and the wrong winners by the time they are 31 months old. They learn various other things without any form of explicit coaching.

Young Children Value Kindness Over A Conflict
Young Children Value Kindness Over A Conflict

What is more interesting is that the preference for the victorious is not just absolute. In the studies mentioned above, children did not prefer the winner who got into the way of its opponent. It suggests that by the time children are 31 months old, their liking for the victorious gets balanced along with various other social issues. It includes a preference for helpful and friendly individuals over the ones who are aggressive.

Nevertheless, there are more studies required for specifying the exact aspects of social situations that children pay attention to. Studies should also be carried out on how children decide whom to avoid and whom to get along with.

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